I dream of...school?

Dear reader, make sure that your movie references are in order before further reading : I seem to be unable to explain most images without referencing a movie or a game.

-

I was in what I imagine a university might be like (never been!), several departments for various disciplines with a few common areas where students would gather.

It was a weird mix of a high school vibe, a bit of college attitude and yeah, university as portrayed in movies : dark movies, Dead Poets society in particular. While there's nothing particularly dark about the university rooms themselves, it's the contrast between the meaningful activities of the students, which took place at night, in secret and the brightly lit halls and effervescence of the dorms that struck my reminiscing, dreaming mind. As always, my memory of the film has meshed with several other movies and imaginings of mine so maybe (very probably) I'm remembering it wrong...

I wandered the different rooms and there were props in each one, most notably a sculpture-themed classroom, lots of storage/warehouse type rooms as well. The feeling evoked when I recall those images reminds me of La double vie de Véronique. It also makes me think that this was closer to what an Académie des Beaux-arts might be like.

The way in which I moved from room to room was very similar to 90s-era Sierra adventure games. Thinking back on it, the Dagger of Amon-Ra stands out as the closest one in terms of atmosphere. Maybe that is the key : maybe it all harkens back to a period of my life where I was transitioning from childhood ( I was 14-15 years old at the time ). I don't remember hallways, just specific rooms, all empty of human life except for the common areas.

After spending long stretches of time exploring the seemingly abandoned rooms and classes, I eventually came upon one of those common areas. It felt overcrowded and that sensation was not simply due to the contrast with empty rooms I had just traversed; it was crowded. Students hanging from the railings, piles of them everywhere there was space : one could barely walk through this room.

I walked by a couple of laughing students. A girl from that group casually reached into my pocket and pulled out my keychain, never even looking at me in the process, as if such an act was trivial and meaningless, like when you scratch yourself pensively. So casual was her demeanor about it that she didn't even interrupt her laughter.

Multiple Keychains - A single Key

One thing that struck me was that it was exactly the keychain that I have now, whereas dream imagery is usually a bit more hazy and generic.

In these situations, I usually turn violent : my dream becomes a long shot of me beating up someone. It never ends well. This time however, I simply grabbed my keychain out of her hand immediately, looked at her as she turned her disbelieving gaze upon me and frowned. Didn't even say a word.

I then ran into a guy who was like an amalgam of every school-friend I've ever had. Shoulder-length ash-blond hair, goatee, almost a jock but with a "secret" passion for videogames, which, for the nerdy kid that I was, meant protection : a valuable ally. I'm not exaggerating, most of my friends from school, at every imaginable grade, had followed this exact pattern. I remember him talking but I didn't bother listening to his words as his tone sent a message to my brain which categorized it as meaningless drivel : A friend who speaks because he's afraid of the silence, foolishly thinking that he was exteriorizing some important thought when in fact, it was just an assortment of words which came to his simple mind. I've had this conversation so many times that I knew at which points I was supposed to laugh and at which points I was meant to say something comforting.

At first, his interactions with me felt hostile, his image was skewed towards that of a high-school bully. He didn't threaten me physically or verbally but there was definitely something in my perception of him which made me uncomfortable.

Nell Campbell

At this point, the dream became hazy and rushed, as if scenes were played in fast-forward. All I remember was that me and jock-guy had met a girl who looked like Nell Campbell, from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, complete with the makeup and garb that the actress wore in that movie.

I remember her laughing as well, as someone often does when enjoying their youth with a level of insouciance that will most probably come back to bite them in the ass later. Young people radiating joy and exuberance who later become bitter and joyless, like Claire in Scrooged.

She wasn't the girl from earlier, the one who had stolen my key, but she had a similar way about her. Eventually she stopped laughing and started listening to my words. I haven't even a remotely coherent idea of what I was saying but I'm guessing it was pretty compelling, or maybe deeper than what she was used to. In any case, she completely changed her expression and posture into that of an attentive schoolgirl, the poise of a stereotypical Japanese anime schoolgirl.

It is at that moment that I realized that it was a dream, and my jock-friend had transformed into...Tuxedo mask from Sailor Moon? He was hunched over as the Faun from Pan's labyrinth, a character I've always identified with. Was I playing myself in this dream? Was I seeing it through the eyes of another?

What this all means, I leave up to your interpretation as I am very confused about all of it myself.

When I dream of school, the feeling I have is usually one of dread and helplessness, isolation and loneliness. This time however, while these general overarching themes were still present, there was a new flavor in the mix...something like...power over my own destiny and the choices I make.

I then woke up abruptly coughing up chocolate. Note to self : Smarties do not make you smart, they give you fucked up dreams.